Things that shit me #2 - "the kids" and ATM machines.

Come into the light

Right I'm gonna talking about some more things that are pissing me off lately.

Why do people, mostly myspace users, feel the need to take self photos from above? The photo to the right is randomly taken from myspace, it didn't take long to find one like that, not only is it taken from above but the contrast has been turned up so far that you can barely see the bitch. It leads one to believe she has skin akin to the surface of mars and is doing all she can to change this.

Harmless you say? "Monarch it's just kids trying to boost their self esteem and feel better about themselves, whats wrong with that?". A bit of computer technology never hurt anyone .. tell that to username emoboi_937 who meets up with you expecting you to look like you've just finished your shift at the flour factory and instead you've most likely finished your shift at McDonald's as the official taste tester. That poor boy won't know what he's in for, blatent false advertising.
But changing yourself via computer graphics, is that really what myspace is about? I thought it was a place where people shared there true selves with the world, where the attitude was "this is who I am, this is MYspace, if you don't like it, don't look at it".

Some might say i should take the advice given above, but it is becoming increasingly more difficult to do so. On the train the other day two girls sat infront of me, they must have been about 16. Combine both their ages and times that amount by 72. That's how many photos they took of themselves from a birds eye view. If they could have nailed the camera to the roof of the train I'm sure they would have. After every single photo they would turn the camera around and have a look at it ... and every single fucking photo was exactly the same.
What happend to creative photography .. what happend to SMILING in photos and being genuine. Photos capture a moment in time. If you're posing for the same photo 2304 (see what I did there?) times this defeats the purpose. They were out and about, heading to the city on a saturday, no school, money from mum and dad in their pockets, life is sweet, yet they were doing their best Nick Cave impersonations when taking the photos.

Why does this shit me? I don't even know, it does though.

Whilst we're on the subject of "the kids", I saw The Simpsons movie last Saturday .. a few friends and I made it the latest session possible to hopefully avoid them. We should have known better, we went to Fountain Gate, a place where people moved to exactly 15 years ago and had children. The end result being the place is over run with 15 year olds. They swarmed the place, I felt like yelling at them for the simple fact that they wern't even alive when the Simpsons were first aired on TV.

What was shitting me was the way they were in the cinema ... the movie was OK at best, it was a long episode, a little anti-climactic after 18years. There were certainly some funny moments .. however they laughed at EVERY SINGLE THING. Are kids so stupid that they will laugh at anything these days? Even worse were the couple of kids who had to repeat the jokes they saw on the screen moments later just so everyone around them was aware that they got the joke, it didn't go over their heads, and also for them to make sure the less switched on members of the audience understood the complex nature of THE SIMPOSONS MOVIE.

In one scene Homer is stuck to a wrecking ball which is swinging him back and forth between a giant rock and a pub called "A Hard Place". Dipshit in seat number E34 then has to yell out "HAHA A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE, JUST LIKE THE SAYING YOU KNOW?" .. I'm not joking, he said that.
Later Homer makes a fake stop sign spelt "SOP" and the same moron says "SOP HAHA HE SPELT IT WRONG". I wish I was making this up.
Then the mother of all calls is made ... upon Mr Burns' first appearence in the movie, someone yells out "OH MY GOD THATS MR BURNS". What a fucking huge surprise, imagine going to a movie about the Simpsons and being shocked to see one of it's main characters in the movie, it's bloody unheard of! I'd excuse these comments if they were from 3yr olds, but that's not the case.

God..

Lastly, I'm getting really fed up with people who take forever at ATM's. How long does it fucking take to get your money out? I timed myself the other day, not rushing, just doing what I needed to do. I put my card in, I punched in my key code, I selected my amount, I chose to get a receipt, I collected my card, receipt and money and was finished in 23 seconds. The fuckstick before me took 2mins and 13 seconds. Yes I timed him too. I don't understand how people can take so long. Normally I don't mind so much but when you're on a break from work and value every precious second away from my desk and want to get some food I could use that time .. it's not just 2mins and 13seconds .. it can be a lot more than that depending how many are infront of you of course. Do people line up without knowing what they want .. they seem confused when they reach their turn and see this strange contraption standing infront of them, it's as if they have to consult the manual on how to use it, make the life or death decision of how much money they want and then stand infront of it after they've finished reading their receipt from top to bottom without moving for the next person.

Fuck.