"The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth" (Wonko c2006, SGS.com)

By Claudia Caravan

Kip Dynamite

The Man

Possibly one of the greatest paragons of nerd-makes-good in modern times, Kipland Ronald Dynamite is a poet, Tupperware salesman and husband to LaFawnduh. In training to be a cage fighter, Kip lived with his Grandma until he was, like, 32 years old. There he whiled away the hours chatting to babes online and eating all the freaking chips.

The Warrior

Kip isn't afraid to stand up to his foes and often takes on his much taller brother Napoleon, despite almost getting his mole torn off. He even risked bruising his neck meat. Kip is so brave he offered himself to Rex as a volunteer in a demonstration of how to "break the wrist, walk away". Now that's a tough guy, especially since no one wants a round-house kick to the face while Rex is wearing those bad boys. Forget about it.

The Entrepreneur

Kip Dynamite is a mover and shaker. Seizing the opportunity to make some sweet moolah with Uncle Rico, Kip became a successful Tupperware salesman (despite the initial setback of demolishing a container after running over it with the van) and established his financial independence, making, like, 75 bucks a day. Kip is also a visionary, one step ahead of the crowd. When asked by Uncle Rico if he knew anything about time travel, Kip said he'd already looked into it for himself. Talk about foresight.

The Romantic

Kip met his soul mate in a chatroom and although he was somewhat T.O.'d that he hadn't gotten a full body shot, he managed to get enough moolah together to bring her out for a few days. Things were getting pretty serious, so I guess you could say they were pretty serious. It was love at first sight and proof that online dating really does work sometimes. Of course Kip underwent a transformation after meeting LaFawnduh, an African-American beauty, and his persona took on that of a white gangsta with the catch phrase "Peace Out". Kip won LaFawnduh's heart with his romantic poetry and even sang a poignant piece at their wedding declaring his love but maintaining that he still loves technology.

So if you're feeling disenchanted in this shallow, messed up world of vacuous celebrities and preening sports stars, take heart knowing that there are people like Kip who aren't afraid to be real. He'll tell you that your mom goes to college.