The Dawning of a New Era: 24/3/2004 AD (After Dart)

Could wet-blanket employees be impeding a dart-powered economic recovery?

In a bid to stave off a bout of creeping workplace depression, beleaguered Publishing Inc editor Hans Fruck has proposed an intra-office darts competition.

Showing his penchant for whimsical lateral thinking, Fruck suggested attaching the target to the back of an editor nominated at the beginning of each day by himself.

"Just imagine the anticipation", said an enthusiastic Fruck. "And to heighten the stakes, let's make the target paper. That way, when you hit the target, or even miss the target but hit the editor, there will be a gratifying squeal of confirmation."

Fruck said he intended to put the proposal to HR, who he hoped would supply each employee with a complimentary set of PI darts.

"Think of what it would do for workplace morale. Mine in particular. And it won't just be fun for the dart-throwers, either. For the target-for-the-day, the most mundane tasks, like making coffee, will be transformed into a hair-raising, thrill-a-minute experience as they're stalked by dartwielding colleagues."

Fruck scoffed at concerns that bystanders could be inadvertently hit by overexuberant dart-throwers. "I've heard the naysayers… Collateral damage this, collateral damage that. Hasn't anyone heard of ducking?"

Undeterred by this chilly response, Fruck volunteered to throw the first dart. "I'd like to mark the beginning of the new dart-throwing epoch in PI history by skewering someone from the void stairwell."

Fruck will be accepting applications for the inaugural dart target until 3pm today.