Published on June 23rd, 2006 | by The Beige Baron


My First Hunting Trip

Herman nailed this fat 120kg white-tail Christian using a bait of Hamburger meat and Hustler magazines.

Herman nailed this fat 120kg white-tail Christian using a bait of Hamburger meat and Hustler magazines.

Pete and Mat and Ross and me were sitting in the loungeroom eating some beef jerky and drinking some beer and Pete said hey let’s go shooting. Well that got us thinking so after another carton or so we said yep let’s go.

Mat went to the linen cupboard to get his guns. We decided to get some rabbits cos Mat’s mate Fred said they had been eating his grass and he was sick of the little bastards.

I didn’t feel like drinking right then so I had a few bongs while Ross went and got his truck. Ross had a big Toyota Landcruiser trayback with lights and a big bullbar and a Catapillar sticker on the back which is real cool. Ross had a special bullbar fitted and raised up the car off the road so that the roos would stop getting caught up in the axles when he hit them.

Anyway after a few more beers we got our guns ready. I never been shooting before so Pete said take the biggest gun mate if you can shoot that you can shoot anything. Pete’s got about 30 guns so I picked a big 12-guage over-and-under Winchester shotty and said that’ll do me mate. Ross gave me a bullet belt with shells and we were set.

Rabbits are bastards because they are vermin and they eat all the grass and they also scare the cows by running around. We all hate rabbits so it was good that we were out to get them and teach them a lesson they’d never forget.

On the way to the property Ross played a joke and pulled out his shotty and screamed out the window at a punk on a bike. He shit himself and we all laughed. We shot a few road signs too cos we all hate how they tell us what we can and can’t do on the roads.

We got out the spottie and drove into the paddock. Almost straight away we saw a rabbit staring at us with his red eyes. Ross screamed at me to fire but in my hurry the gun went off and I shot the spare tyre. It was lucky I never shot cos I saw that there was a house with lights on right behind where the bunny was sitting.

Rabbits are shifty cunning bastards.

Ross and Pete laughed heaps at me because I was a bit out of it and I didn’t know what was going on. We drove on a bit more and we came over the hill and there were rabbits everywhere gobbling up all the grass. Ross yelled to get ’em and we all opened up. There was a lot of noise and smoke and yelling and one tried to run away but Mat got him with his shotty from 20 feet which is pretty far away they reckon.

When the smoke cleared we saw that we got about 10 of the little chittering bastards and there were a couple that was trying to run away still even though they had no leg or head. I felt a bit funny when I saw one rabbit I winged trying to run away and I said poor little bugger when I put my boot on its neck and ripped its back legs back to break its neck, but the boys laughed and called me gay. We also hit a cow but it didn’t look too bad just a bit of blood on its head.

I hadn’t bagged one by myself yet so Ross drove us over to this little creek part of the field where he said there were heaps. I was pretty thirsty by now so I had another beer while I loaded up my shotty. I thought I saw one of the sneaky beggars so I yelled out to stop and I started pumping some rounds. The other boys must have thought it was a fox and they started shooting too. We went to have a look but it was only a stick. It looked like a rabbit but. We all laughed and had another beer.

Ross saw a rabbit stealing some grass up ahead in the headlights and so we chased it. It is funny how fast rabbits can run. This one was lucky but and it ran into the bushes. We ended up with 10 all up with five confirmed damaged cos we found the blood. It was a good feeling to know we were helping with the environment by killing these pests.

We still had plenty of ammo left but so we shot some rocks and some bottles and I liked they way the gun shot and the kick wasn’t too bad cos I am pretty strong.

Then we went to the pub to show the boys our rabbits and have a few more drinks. I liked shooting so much that I am going to buy my own shotty so I can go out when ever I like. I want to shoot a cat because they are worse than rabbits because they eat birds and they are sneaky and they think they are so smart and better than us.

About the Author

Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.

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