Singles of the Week

Years of cosmetics abuse left their complexions dull and lifeless.

MIND GAMES
Secret Identity EP (Independent)
Despite not hailing from Southern California, Mind Games succeed in whining their major-key melodies over thrashy powerchords in a grating psuedo So-Cal accent. High-school stuff, really. Apart from the rudimentary musicianship, the kiddies that might have liked this four years ago are now all into their Emo, so if the band tried to trot out this lame rehashed-Blink 182 pap at Next Niteclub they’d be lynched. And what’s with moronic lyrics like ‘I want to be a superhero’? Trust me, fellas – you should aim lower. Like singing in key. Oh, and for fark’s sake, change your bloody beat – if you play one more damn song double-time on the snare with those feathery double-kick patterns, I’ll call the drum police.

MANDY KANE
Murder in the Daylight EP (Independent)
Apparently, War is bad. It’s akin to murder, except it’s in the open. In daylight. Profound, huh? Noam Chomsky eat your heart out.

Melbourne’s newly independent androgene lisps his way through a tinny mix of layered synths, digitally distorted guitars, and programmed drums so overly reverbed they sound like they were accidentally recorded from the studio next door. Meanwhile, Mandy’s vocals tread between a Brian Molko-ish effeminacy, Bowie-style angular enunciation, and diluted Marilyn Manson-esque snarl. In a word, gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

HARD-FI
Cash Machine (Warner)
This inoffensive pop tune details ATM-phobia and the perils of poor money management. What to do? A zero bank balance, and an army of ticket inspectors to avoid on the train trip home. Can you relate? No doubt fans of their tasty little debut album Stars Of CCTV already have.

While the plot might be appealing, the song itself is fairly run-of-the-mill with a chorus signified by the addition of extra voices to thicken the main refrain, rather than any melodic or chordal movement. Still, it’s catchy enough, and during the outro, singer Richard Archer even plagiarises the old hillbilly staple ‘There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza’. Smart way not to pay royalties, I s’pose.

INXS
Afterglow (Sony/BMG)
The title refers, presumably, to the collective post-coital tingle the band felt after raping the corpse of their late great bandmate, Michael Hutchence. It comes as no surprise that this limp tawdry affair was penned not only by one of the Farris brothers, but also by 80s hitmaker, Desmond Child. Quick history lesson: Child was responsible for a string of massive singles and soft-rock abominations, including Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet. But, if you hate him even more now for buying into INXS’ tasteless resuscitation, then please save your bile for the band. You can picture this lame song gathering dust for the last ten years in a Farris family shoe-box somewhere – no doubt Michael wouldn’t have touched it with a ten-foot pole – before reality television gave them licence to record the horrible thing. It’s so bad, so dated, and even worse is the over-cooked production. The credits are laughable – there’s names listed for production, additional production, recording, programming, additional engineering, digital editing, additional digital editing, mixing, and finally, ProTools editing. That’s a lot of chefs, and it still sounds shite.

On a personal note, I really don’t like how JD Fortune waxes his eyebrows, and does anyone else think Kirk Pengilly looks like someone has drawn his moustache on with black texta? Afterglow is enough to make a bonafide INXS fan choke. If only the rest of the band would indulge in a long protracted session of auto-erotic asphyxia.

SARAH MACLEOD
All Of Me EP (Warner)
I witnessed Sarah perform this song live before a nonchalant crowd during her acoustic residency in some Bondi pub. Sure, it was a lot rawer then, but I liked it more – her voice was scratchier, she hit the odd dodgy note, and fudged a few chords, but it was an honest performance completely stripped of any affectation. Thankfully by then, she’d ditched the stylist responsible for that gauche lesbian-chic look she was toting prior the release of Beauty Was A Tiger. Instead, here was this nervous sweet girl with an acoustic guitar, some cool songs and a cheeky smile. While this version features some quite mediocre bass and drum backing, the acoustic version and b-sides of Gutter Queen and Everybody Calls Me Lonely are proof that even though Superjesus are dead and buried, there’s life in the old girl yet.

Van Lustbader
Communique (Fly Music)
Ho hum, another band intent on plundering the 80s, remarkable only for their namesake, the popular novelist of the same era. Eric Van Lustbader wrote a series of violent thrillers that explored the mistrust in American-Japan relations, wiring political and industrial espionage with Eastern mysticism, martial arts and some pretty steamy sex-scenes. I just wish this bland electro-pop was anywhere near as interesting.

Coheed & Cambria
The Suffering (Sony/BMG)
The funny thing about this band (apart from the ridiculous pretence of the sci-fi lyrics) is that the emo brats who worship this band, don’t actually realise they aren’t even Emo. While poodle-haired vocalist Claudio Sanchez sings like he’s been sucking on a helium balloon, it’s clear both from the proggy flourishes that this guy owes more to the metal chops and nasal yelp of Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine than your typical black-fringed whinger. Sorry kids, you’ve been had.

SINGLE OF THE WEEK
Something for Kate
Cigarettes & Suitcases (Sony/BMG)
Ever wanted to grab Paul Dempsey by the shoulders, and say ‘cheer up, man, it’s gonna be ok!’? If SFK always seemed a little too morose a rock band to you, think again – there’s nothing maudlin about the new single, Cigarettes & Suitcases. It cracks along in their inimitable style, fusing indie aesthetic with raw grit, and Paul Dempsey’s emotive rasp is not only in fine form but this time the lanky frontman showcases greater diversity and power. He blends his trademark delicious gravel with some frayed falsetto and an open-throated roar. What’s more, when the song hits its stride in the final chorus you ask yourself, why the hell didn’t he sing like this before? Can’t wait for the album.

**This week's Singles column was written by Sue Denhom, who's filling in for the redoubtable Daniel Z. We'd like to stress that Daniel's absence was not caused by a nasty bout of genital warts. However, we would like to send a cheerio to Dan, and wish him well as he convalesces from his not-at-all-related-to-genital-warts condition. Chin up, mang. --BNU management