Newton loses contract as Satchwell crosses arms

"I gather by your stance, you are staying at the women's refuge tonight"Entertainer Matthew Newton has lost a lucrative radio contract after being charged with assaulting his former girlfriend, actress/pilot star Brooke Satchwell.

Newton, the spoilt son of television wax work Bert Newton, had been due to launch his radio career by co-presenting another shithouse drivetime program on Sydney radio station Nova.

"Over the last two decades, I have become the subject of intense media and public interest," Newton, 29, said in a statement issued by his behavioral therapist.

"Hold the phone...As the matter of interest relates to my being a dickhead, I am not able to freely and openly discuss it. Suffice to say, I do have evidence supporting my case detailing my motivation to allegedly assault Brooke. Just watch any show she has been in or look at any publicity still. Her f-----k arms are always crossed," Newton butted in.

"As a matter of interest, you can't discuss it because you are a wanker. You are only famous because of your parents," a passerby remarked.

Newton faces four charges, including assault occasioning actual bodily harm and forced uncrossing of arms. The offences allegedly occurred at the Sydney home the couple shared after Satchwell got sacked from another TV show.

Satchwell, whose television credits include Neighbours, has moved back to Melbourne because her last three TV shows have been axed before the first season has been shown.

The family crestA source has revealed to BNU that, "Newton trained at NIDA and got seriously upset with Brooke because she always crossed her arms in every scene she was in. He could handle it in Neighbours but not White Collar Blue, Water Rats, Tripping Over and the ads for Fox 8's Dangerous. When she got home from work, she couldn't cook for Newton like Patti did because her arms were still crossed."

On New Years Eve 2006, Newton appeared on Network 10 with John Foreman where he engaged in simulated sex acts and other suggestive activity. The Daily Telegraph described the programme as "sub-standard coverage" and "the worst ever."

John Foreman Grill remarked, "I love a bit of cock. But not when it is dropped onto my the top of my head on live television."

Promo shot for Fox 8's Dangerous... resulting in a nosebleedApparently, Newton was upset because he had tried to breast feed from Brooke, however because her arms were crossed, he could not gain access.

"Mum lets me do and so does Dad."

Newton's mother Patti, whose annual Christmas albums fill JB Hi-FI's bargain bins said, "All the mothers of Grammar boys still do it. It is not his fault Brooke wouldn't uncross her arms so he could feed."

Newton handcuffs Satchwell to prevent her from crossing armsNewton is now in a relationship with Gracie Otto, love child of German statesman Otto von Bismarck and the sister of actor Otto Mann.

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