Lists. The Nivea lotion is for dry skin -- nothing else.
The table is from Wayne and Arthur aka the Dodgy Bros
Stocktake of moment in time:
1. M-Audio USB Keyboard
2. AKG Microphone and stand
3. Photo of myself jumping off huge waterfall in NT
3. Statue of Aphrodite
4. Numerous bottles of scotch
5. Japanese golf tee
6. Trombone sheet music holder
7. Floating penguins
8. Face cup
9. Shaving cream
10. Turbonegro cds
11. Wolfenstein game
12. Drops
13. Driving Mr Albert: A Trip Across America
14. Basic Mixing Techniques
15. Fkn whistle woo hoo
16. Nailclippers
17. Phone
18. Graphite pencil
19. Pens & textas ‘n shite in cup
20. Cufflinks
21. Another phone
22. After shave
23. Ipod box with old Ipod in it
24. Perfect Grammar book (ha fkn haw)
25. Diazapam
26. Leatherman
27. An actual man
28. My G’father in no man’s land at the 38th Parallel during Korean War with GI who was killed shortly after
29. VW
30. My old army dog tags
31. Panadine forte (I have a fkn massive abscess so shut the hell up)
32. Various guitar and bass picks
33. Various IDs
34. Poem by Tennyson called “Crossing The Bar” handwriten out my G’father now deceased to read at his funeral so I remembered it.
35. Stamps
36. Grindhouse poster
37. Roger Waters ticket
38. Wallet
39. Ipod
40. Sunglasses
41. Paw Paw ointment
42. Keys
43. Tweesers
44. Loose change
45. Cloth for glasses
46. Hammer to smash bus/car/ window
47. Diary
48. Stay Hungry DVD
49. Drink delicious Coca Cola tray from Great Gatsby era (sans pink suit)
50. Bored LP
51. Post it notes
52. Headphones
53. Phantom Lamp
54. M-Box
55. Winning scratchie
56. Moisturising lotion
57. Computer with current background of Mary Elizabeth Winstead
58. Spare hard drive
59. Garage sale flyer
60. Dr Martens box
61. Wall
62. Table
63. Dark Side of Moon program
64. Alesis monitors
65. Gemma Atkinson just chilling on my private beach
_________________
66. Spray on Condom
67. My MENSA certificate saying I was the best
68. An email from Jim Jones.
69. An email from Xenu.
______________________________
"He's an ugly, loathsome brute, yet I can't look away"This was my desk when I first moved in. It was pretty bare but a much better sight. My girlfriend and I used to watch this movie over and over with Kramer acting as overlord until he disgraced himself as a racist prick. Okay ... I was hoping my girlfriend would watch the film with me.
_________________________
1. Can of beer, unopened
2. Bottle of CC Lemon
3. Video rental card
4. Pack of Mild Sevens
5. Matchbook from a yakiniku restaurant
6. Camera
7. Unexplained piece of cable
8. Box of tissues
9. Quilted grandma jacket
10. Pair of glasses, not mine
11. Small baby walker contraption, also not mine
12. Tent
13. Copy of In Rainbows by Radiohead, copy of My Bloody Valentine's Loveless and copy of The Very Best of of the Stone Roses, all recently returned by honest and considerate friend
14. A tissue containing the snot of a one year old child
15. Placemats a stole from a supermarket
16 My down jacket
17. Chapstick, eye liquid and a lighter which says 'Love. Rock. Peace. Little Bitch.' No kidding.
18. A copy of Trailer Boat magazine with its cover torn and shredded by the bands of a one year old child.
19. Air conditioning remote. It's snowing.
20. Bass guitar. Cheap Fender Jazz knockoff. Sometimes noodled with.
What about you guys?
11. Small baby walker contraption, also not mine
Bullshit Bazron. Admit it, it's yours.
Because I had to click on about a dozen fucken links from The Daily Telegraph to get there:
1. # NUDITY WARNING: See the saucy pics here
2. See the picture. Warning: Nudity.
3. FOLLOWING these links will take you to the German GQ magazine, featuring the nude Lara Bingle picture.
This photo was first published early last year but has now resurfaced on the GQ website in Germany.
It may offend, so proceed with caution by clicking here.
4. OKAY, you were warned. This is the link to German GQ magazine.
If you are likely to be offended by pictures of nude women, do not go any further.
5. If you wish to proceed, click here.
Jesus Christ I had to go via fucking Germany to get there. How many fucking warnings does one need to see a pair of tits most sportsmen have seen? Jeezus!
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23238581-5006002,00.html
1. Can of beer, opened, empty;
2. One green shopping bag;
3. Digital camera, black spot on lens;
4. AM radio;
5. 10-shot magazine for Remington M40 sniper rifle, loaded with 7.62x51mm rounds with full metal jacket projectiles;
6. Publication entitled "The Anarchist's cookbook";
7. Publication entitled "Ebony babes love B1_B5";
8. Three M26 hand grenades, spoons taped over;
9. Tube of KY jelly;
10. Intineraries for the next three years of differnt routes I will take when walking my dog;
11. One traffic cone I souvenired from Coranderrk Street, Canberra, after all my dimwitted mates and I went and re-arranged all the others, after a blinder that culminated with all of us climbing through a barbed wire fence (photographs of injuries to follow in a subsequent post);
12. Silencer, for some indeterminate .45 calibre automatic weapon;
13. Tread link from M113A1 Armoured Personnel Carrier;
14. One sheet of corrugated iron;
15: One can of light beer, unopened;
16: Publicity photograph of Alan Jones, defaced with phallic symbols in thick black texta;
17. Three condoms ... 17 years past their expiry date;
18. Printout of The Chief Turnip's public appearance schedule near the tomato section of the fruit nd veg section of a Reid supermarket; and
19. Prospective candidate's guide for the next Federal Election.
Well we might know who the culprit might be heatseeker:
http://brownnoiseunit.com/the_cone_wars
http://samuelgordonstewart.com/2008/02/dim-witted-idiots-and-traffic-cones#comments
My inventory:
1. Apple iBook
2. Kentia palm (in lightweight black pot)
3. lamp
4. Hardback Macquarie dictionary 3rd edition
5. small white ceramic ashtray with the roaches of three joints in it
6. Bottle of Wild Turkey & Dry (empty)
7. Bottle of Wynn's Shiraz (half empty, or half full depending on your outlook)
8. a dozen guitar picks of various colours & gauges, mostly grey Dunlop .016mm.
9. Paperback copy of Cormac McCarthy's The Crossing, courtesy of one Hans Fruck
10. A pile of unopened mail from various financial & govt institutions
11. iPod shuffle (silver)courtesy of Mrs Blackshadow
12. tobacco debris
13. Boss TU80 chromatic guitar tuner with built in metronome
14. Glad ziploc bag with mysterious green crumbs in one corner.
15. Hunter S Thompson coaster
16. Brunswick Hotel lighter
17. CDs: Led Zeppelin I, III, Physical Graffiti, Houses of the Holy, Presence
18. Ceramic Mexican change bowl
19. Burberry spectacles case
20. LG DVD remote control
21. Well thumbed but little relied upon Belgrave & Lilydale lines timetable
22. One Stabilo sensor fine 0,3 pen (black)
23. Half a Marlboro Light cigarette
24. One happy looking red bear that has I Love You embroidered on it's chest
25. A 3D pirate/ninja keyring with no keys on it.
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