“Build me a band, my son,” it booms. “Build me a band so fast it can set up its gear more quickly than Schumaker’s pit crew can change a tyre. A band with equipment so light and aerodynamic it may be packed into the boot of a Ford Laser; one that does not require money, frowns upon food or expensive recording facilities; that lives only for delighting swarms of garage rock fans that like their music served cold and dropped from a great height. “Go, my son, go back to your life in Brisbane. Lay aside your ping-pong paddle.”
Heinz summoned his tame eagle and rode Gandalf-style back to ex-Regurgitator drummer Martin Lee’s house, dashed the bong from his hands and forced him into an intensive training regimen to pare off the excess kilos. It was at a demonstration seminar for the Ab Rocker that bassist Tam Pattern was persuaded to join the band.
And so, Nightstick was born.
The band set up a card table in Martin’s front yard and sold all of the weighty items which had slowed them during their previous lives with Not From There, Full Fathom Five and Regurgitator: samplers, quad boxes, guitar cases, dancing girls, disused Sudan chairs and so on.
Training continued – in fact, all three members now weigh just 34kg each and measure less than four feet tall. Nightstick is in peak physical condition. They have written a bunch of powerfully raw rock songs, fuelled the Laser with Avgas and are ready to hit the Newell Highway, shocking and awing simple townsfolk and stealing their daughters along the way.
Don’t fucking analyse it too much man, just enjoy.
Riot police in Melbourne are preparing for Thursday 9 September, when the Laser rolls into town with a giant speaker strapped to the roof blaring Phil Collins’ No Jacket Required to brainwash the locals into attending their gig at the Ding Dong Lounge.
“There’s a whole psyching-up process that involves driving for 24 hours Brisbane to Melbourne. Usually it only takes 18 hours, but in our case we have to get out of the car every few hours and really meditate and have group hugs,” Heinz said.
What’s the best part of being in Nightstick?
“The best part would have to be the 40 minutes you’re on stage. That part of it is pretty fucking cool, it’s my favourite. The worst is having to justify it too much, you know, people getting on your back about why or how or the trappings.
“Don’t fucking analyse it too much man, just enjoy. It’s not a good time to be thinking about it too much, it just gets too serious.”
Astonishingly, Nightstick’s excellent debut EP was recorded with the change found under Heinz’s lounge cushions. “We’re going to try to make the next record with nothing,” he promises. “You go to your friends and say hey, can you help me out with a microphone, you’ve got a dodgy little Pro Tools rig there, maybe you could help me out — there’s a lot of begging involved.”
Are any bands in particular to inspire Nightstick?
“There are a lot of bands in Brisbane at the moment that I go and see and we play with that we’ve found really inspiring from a fun perspective. We were talking about not taking thing’s too seriously — there are a lot of bands up here who are not there for the haircuts or the clothes, they’re there for the music, and that’s a big inspiration for us.”
Listen to Nightstick for yourself here.