Hans' Word of the Week #1
Just today − only an hour ago − I was insulted.
My friends will know that this, in itself, isn't that noteworthy. There's something about me (my superlative taste in footwear, my quirky sense of humour, my personality etc) that provokes people. No, me being insulted wasn't that noteworthy − what's noteworthy is HOW I was insulted. This particular insult showed, I thought, an interesting degree of verbal dexterity.
So I've decided to make the insult the first installment of Hans' Word of the Week® and to offer a definition, so that those of you who are tempted to use the word in the future will do so on a sound lexicographical basis. Without further ado, let me introduce the word in question:
Crockshitter (kr∂k∫ιttε) n 1 one who shits pottery 2 one who shits in pottery 3 one who talks copious amounts of shit − crockfuls of it, in fact.
Given that I haven't inadvertently taken a dump in anyone's terracotta potplant or crapped ceramics, I lean toward definition #3, as the word was applied to me. It goes without saying that it was a cruel misrepresentation, as I was, at the time, proffering a learned discourse on bone-to-lard ratios. Anyway, here's how I see the word being used in a sentence:
Business associate, Vincent Blackshadow OBE, SOB, WTF: "I say old boy, I've decided to cease smoking and my vigilante campaign against public transport officials so that I may commence my climb up the corporate ladder forthwith."
Hans: "Crockshitter."
Roughly speaking, that's how the word should be used. Now go forth and use it. Fuckers.
Did you mean: rockshatter
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it is "you're googleless", not "your googleless"!
Fucking dumbass crockshitter...
Correct usage Hans?
Frankly, after emerging from the wilderness having not posted for so long, I find your questioning of me disappointing, Anonymous, you tactless bastard.
I know some people -- who refuse to disclose their real names (Anonymous) -- find it hard to believe that the reservoir of human knowledge extends far beyond the puny reach of Google, but it's true. As Hannibal Lecter said to Clarice Starling: "You can't dissect my mind with your puny questionnaire, Clarice, you saucy minx." (I paraphrase.)
Thus it is with Google. Take me, for example. I know many things that the smartest Google search won't unearth. Things like the correct definition of "crockshitter", a word that may not yet have penetrated Google's search engine, but which has well and truly penetrated the consciousness of yours truly.
As for "rockshatter", I believe it's like saying: "Bad Boy Benny is a former bikini waxer to the stars", ie a rockshatter is someone who once indulged in rockshitting but has since given up the pastime. By, ahem, analogy a "crockshatter" is someone who no longer "crockshits".
Which brings me, Anon, to another pet peeve of mine, and that's the widespread misuse of the adjective "shattered", as in "Renee Zellweger was completely shattered by her own shitness." I've long maintained that the correct usage is "Renee Zellweger was completely shatted by her own shitness."
Finally, you're right, it's "you're googleless". If you want to use the possessive, it's "your googlelessness".
Yours grammatically,
HS Fruck
You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair
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