Good Morning Stuart
Samuel demonstrates a simple sleeper hold for rabid dogs.
Well you’ll be pleased to know that most of my aches and pains are gone, and I did eventually get to sleep last night, although it wasn’t for very long. The sedative drugs doctor John has me on work very well, but the side affects are interesting, I want to sleep, but the medicine wants to keep me awake for at least three to four hours after I take it.
It’s also making a lot of things taste quite terrible and it's making me very thirsty, but at least I seem to be able to concentrate for a while now, even if it does take me three times as long to write an email than it normally would.
I would just like to send my best wishes to everyone who is currently affected by bushfires, it is a terrible situation to be in, and I think we owe our firefighters, especially the volunteers, an awful lot.
Stuart, I love you in a more-than-a-friend way. I want to tell you things I tell no one else. I want to fall asleep on your shoulder, take long walks in the rain, and gaze deeply into your eyes over the rim of my Nescafe Kenjaro cup. Oh Stuart, how I long to show the sights, sounds and smells of Kairnbra! Coffee at Civic, a croquet at Kingsley's Chicken, a stroll in the late afternoon past a construction site! Just you, Nattie, a radio, the camera and me.
Stuart, I think of you all the time. Even when I am not listening to your breakfast shift, your voice is forever in my head. Sometimes I just lie on my bed, close my eyes and let the memory of your voice take hold of my whole being.
I have to go now, Stuart. I will call you as soon as I get off work. If I don't get through I'll send a text, and if you don't have your phone on you I'll email. What's your home number again?
Anyway, if for some silly odd reason we don't link up, I'll be in the cafe across the road from where you work. I'm the one with the binoculars and the anorak!
I yearn for you tragically. Have a great weekend! I'll be listening (and watching!)
Regards,
Samuel Gordon-Stewart
Kairnbra
I love the way...
your sandy hair...
floats in the air.
To me it's like a lullaby.
I'm just flying by,
oh, so high...
like a kite tied to a stake.
Geeze. That blog has turned into a fan site for 40+ white males.
In the last persiflage Samuel again played the recording of him singing the Vegemite song to Daniel Gibson. Except that he also sang it a female. Does he ever mention her? She spent more time than Daniel speaking to him and then gave him some prizes.
Samuel. Why don't you give Virginia Trioli a shot instead of Stan Zamenak?
"gaze deeply into your eyes over the rim of my Nescafe Kenjaro cup"
Could Samuel be the Adrian Mole of the New Millenium?
I just looked at Spamuel's blog and noticed the Google Ad. "Who's your perfect lover?" As far as I know, these ads are auto-generated by the content of the page. I scanned the page to see if there was any reference to Spamuel searching for his perfect lover, but, alas, all I can see is primary schools, Win news, Nattie day care, and other shite. No mention of the perfect lover or the finding thereof. Could Google be more than just a meta-searcher-type thingy pulling out random words? Does it know that Samuel is already writing letters to his perfect lover and now wants to offer you the opportunity of finding yours?
Holy shit. A search engine that reads between the lines.
Yes Ms Caravan! The Google algorithms sure are shrewd. His daily emails to shock jocks are like similar to reading Mills & Boon. Rich, ennobled and initially unattainable males and the desire of Samuel to have a relationship with them. Samuel treating himself like an object describing himself using static verbs concerned with thoughts and feelings and then enforcing traditional values upon himself. Mills and Boon always have a happy ending. Hopefully he will too.
Why do you love me?
Why do you need me?
Always and forever.
We met in a chatroom,
Now our love can fully bloom.
Sure the world wide web is great but you,
You make me salivate.
Yes, I love technology but not as much as you, you see.
But I STILL love technology. Always and forever.
Our love is like a flock of doves,
Flying up to heaven above.
Always and forever. Always and forever.
Yes, our love is truly great. Always and forever.
Why do you need me? Why do you love me?...
Mmmm ... looks like Lib backbench senator Marise Payne also has an obsessed fan: http://samuelgordonstewart.com/2006/12/2ues-voice-of-reason-goes-on-vacation-he-may-have-jumped-out-the-window#comments
Surely if she got the wheels turning we could have that weird fuck shunted off to Guantanimo for at least five years!
Samuel's gone and broadcast this pisstake in all its glory with his priceless reaction and commentary on his blog:
http://samuelgordonstewart.com/2006/12/you-dont-need-a-full-moon-to-attract-loonies
AS much as we've all been purged - some of us several times, I suppose the spirit of Wonko lives on at SGS.com
That said, I am confident I am speaking for us all in inviting Samuel to join Brown Noise Unit and comment in first person ... I'm sure we'd even jack up our first gold membership for such a star contributor!
No you don't need a full moon to attract loonies. Just an AM transmitter.
Samuel is right. The Beige Lunatic is perverted. Unlike R2D2.
Samuel. Unlike your blog, you do have the right of reply on this site. I am glad you are still communicating with us even if it is via proxy. Hope you have recovered from your aches and pains? Any chance of you submitting some reviews?
64 does have a better ring to it than 69.
If Samuel did indeed indulge in any sheerly odd naughtyness, I would love to be the one to ban him ... alas, with all the perverted loonies in here and all their bleatings, I could not imagine what he could do to offend.
The only offensive thing Samuel could do is not contribute. I like your idea of making him a gold member heatseeker. Like Robbie Waterhouse, I could see Samuel participating in some extreme naughtyness.
I strongly suspect myself as being a former contributer to this site and will ban myself forthwith. All this pointless bleating and talking to faceless nobodies has worn the keys off my keyboard.
That said, my world crumbled around me when I was purged from SGS.com. I let fly with blue language and agreed with Baron's assessment of SGS, yet, I still admire Samuel. He is one of few bloggers I would trust with my own life on this crazy invention, filled with absolute lunatics we called the Internet.
I just hope he gets back to what he does best. All the AM talkback host melodrama is getting on my quince. Like my peers have demanded before, I demand more:
Persiflage (the interview with Mrs GS is the best)
Dlognwot
Cup-o-coffee-o-meter-o-my
Nattie photos
Black and Gold label updates
Photo excursions
Dreams
Step-o-metre
Tape Highlights
*But no more Friday Funnies!
I know that I should let go, that I am trying to relive past glories and that Samuel may be growing up and out, venturing into new areas, purging his contributers like a teenage model purges food and becoming obsessed with more and more talkback hosts. But like Samuel is obsessed with Stuart at the moment, Samuel playing hard to get has only made me more ravenous for the phenomenon that is SGS.
After my denial stage, this is my first of 12 steps to move on and get my life back on track.
I am already rehearsing my line for booting SGS from this blog for indulging in any unwelcome behaviour: "Well done Samuel, consider yourself banned!"
Please Samuel, Gold membership awaits.
The little fucker's at it again - this time not merely deleting comments that constitute "unwelcome behaviour", or purging accounts from "loonies" but this time he has gone and nuked a whole Wikipedia article:
http://samuelgordonstewart.com/2006/12/the-silly-season#comments
I'm sure this is just the beginning of Samuel's quest to dominate the World Wide Web ... soon there will be just Samuel and John B1_B5's blogs to choose from - and no-one will be allowed to comment on neither.
An evil man with an evil plan!
All that said, if the said article was so offensive and Samuel's crowing about his victory in getting it removed (with a smug John B1_B0 demeanor), then isn't it a bit counterproductive to preserve it for all to see on the blog?
I don't know, perhaps because I'm not crazy, I just can't see the logic ...
I have bookmarked that Wikipedia article never to be visited again heatseeker.
I did click on the godscorp link and discovered that Samuel set fire to school bags. How odd.
It seems he will stop at nothing to purge all derision. Similar to Alan Jones' attempt to silence Chris Masters and a male prostitute before the release of Jonestown.
He thinks he is the Sgt Major of the internet. Fame comes with a price though. I am counting the tumbleweeds now.
'Contributers of SGS unite and break your chains.'
The above quote is wrong - well sort of. Samuel does mention Lisa's name. I was just asking a question though and it is not part of:
"a smear campaign" (SGS, Persiflage 11) for which I am apparently responsible.
For some reason, Samuel used this quote (that is in this thread) in his feedback section for Samuel's Persiflage #11. He also used feedback that was from Col Moodus and that ratbag Capt Flume after he purged them? However, their feedback was in the comments section of Persiflage 10 (I think?). And justifies being read out.
Samuel's reason for including my quote in his feedback section of Persiflage is quite odd. I don't understand why Samuel would selectively quote a comment written on another website and call it 'feedback'. His show, his rules I guess.
Since you are probably reading this Samuel, maybe you should have used it somewhere else in the Persiflage or answered it here. Anyone can post on BNU. Evidently it does not constitute feedback nor was it addressed to podcast@sgs.com.
I did provide some audio feedback for you that was addressed to podcast@sgs.com but it was not used. Thanks for accepting my heartfelt apology regarding this serious issue (I sent via email). Merry Christmas to you and Woof to Nattie.
PS. I am not running a smear campaign against you dude. Just still reeling from the purge. You have to expect some sort of anger and resentment at such a loss. I feel like Winston in 1984. The last line of the book haunts me though.
I am Moodus and Flume... I didn't send anything to the feedback section. But I feel vindicated that Samuel would choose those two positive comments I made as worthy for inclusion in the feedback section of the persiflage, and then ban me for no reason.
It's all a bit odd, but as director, producer and presenter and captain of his one-man team, he can do as he pleases.
I would also like to add there never has been or will be a 'smear' campaign directed at Samuel. I was very angry and disappointed to be unfairly banned, but as I have made clear, I wish him no harm.
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