Published on May 26th, 2006 | by admin0
Cleopatra 2525 (Season 1 Box Set)
Cleopatra (Jennifer Sky, the Amazon-wannabe Amarice in executive producer Sam Raimi’s previous series Xena: Warrior Princess), a pouty, pneumatic blonde, goes in for a boob job in 2001 and wakes up in 2525.
Humanity has been driven underground by murderous mechanical ticks (the parasites, not the marks of affirmation) called Baileys, but luckily for Cleo, fashion is still as skimpy and impractical as ever.
Her new boosies look great in the pink-seamed leather lingerie she whips up for herself, but they’re pretty useless when it comes to killing robots. So instead she screams – a lot – leaving the robot killing to two feisty and equally under-dressed ladies, Sarge (aka Rose) and Helen (played by Gina Torres, who’s made a living from fantasy / sci-fi shows, previously appearing in Raimi’s Hercules, and Joss Whedon’s Angel and Firefly), who hears voices; well, a voice that tells her what to do.
The most remarkable thing about Sarge and Hel, though, is their wrist weaponry. These gauntlets are noteworthy for the amount of grunting and pelvic thrusting required to use them! No doubt it’s all very sexy in a Beyond Thunderdome retro-futuristic Bikini Babes with Bazookas kind of way.
Ripping off everything from The Terminator to The Matrix to folk-rock duo Denny Zager & Rick Evans’ one-hit wonder In The Year 2525, Cleopatra 2525 – subtitled Space Angels in the series trailer, and “A Futuristic Action Adventure” in the DVD menus – appears to be Sam Raimi’s attempt to take Xena into the 26th century. Pity then, that Cleopatra is about as interesting or as funny as being buried alive. The plot is hidden between the shooting, the SFX hilariously lame, the acting cardboard and the writing weak. Which, bar the bit about the shooting, was also the case with Xena, but Cleopatra takes it to a new level; where Xena was stupid camp fun, Cleopatra is just stupid.
But that’s not the point. The point, lest we forget, is the thrusting and the grunting. Cleopatra 2525 is sci-fi soft-core porn with guns. Lots of guns. Never forget the guns.