Cruise Does Horror


By Al. L. Torso - Posted on 17 January 2008

...you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you're the only one who can really help...

Watch It

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What the fuck does he "know?" WTF is his point? WTF is he talking about? The dude has no frame of reference. He is a rambling madman, a fucking amateur. Who is depending on him?

He never answers his own questions with any rational answer. Just like any other empty cult. All talk and no cigar.

He reminds me of me on LSD talking about what "I know." Does that make me #1 in Scientology?

DYK, Chris and Marie (plant farmers in tutus) are Scientologists?

... in your rambling diatribe did you make anything resembling a rational thought. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.

Far fucking out. The man is a loon. This is an anti-drug commercial.

My favourite is when he bites his lip and does this wild, searching-the-horizon-for-his-half-broke-stallion looks and then blurts out something like 'it's like... amazing'.

Poor Katie Holmes. She must be a heartless glorynoter or a fool or a mascochist or a geninue L Ron Hubbard freak to buy into that.

Beep beep! Nice one Check, I enjoyed this immensely.

What a freak. The poor guy. I mean, I have my problems and all, and yes I am jealous he has so much cash and gets to bone Katie Holmes, but far out, he's fucking mad. Insane. Off in the land of take-what-you-want.

I mean the whole cult was started by a B-grade science fiction writer. Have any of you read snippets of that stuff? It's even less believable than L Ron Hubbard's crappy novels. Jesus.

It's the wild eyes and the fervour, the fact that this guy's sanity is hinging on a secret code of 'SP's and 'MDF's and having to revisit the lore of the 'NGO'. Excuse me, my good man, I have to slip off to the KFC to pick up a copy of the AFL because I WTF.

The thing that blows my hair back about this video is that it's supposed to be something of a recruitment show for these cranks. I mean, as orientantion videos go, I would be thetar-ing my ass in swift reverse after being sat in a darkened room and confronted with this craziness.

Hey, Tom! Crimanolitron! Got the answer for cancer yet? Care to share? You just wanna help, mang, and I'm moving next weekend. Can you spare your saturday?

What a knob.

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