Cock of the Week
Former Immigration Minister Philip Ruddock has been reported missing after he vanished right in the middle of Question Time in Federal Parliament.
The bizarre incident occurred in front of the national press gallery, but camera footage has been withheld by the parliament's media department and turned over to police investigators.
Accounts of the event are almost non-existent as nearly all sitting members admit to being in a dream state or fast asleep while the Minister was answering a question concerning his handling of his previous portfolio.
However, a Mr Howard Condon, who witnessed the scene from the public gallery, said he fought off sleep and swears he saw Ruddock slowly fade to grey before becoming translucent and disappearing completely. He said there was a collective realisation of the strange event when Ruddock's voice stopped, and the audience suddenly realised there was no sign of the Minister. However, nobody raised the alarm immediately fearing he might actually be found and made to resume his speech.
Dr Tony Two-Times, an expert in the paranormal and a lecturer at the Old School of Thought, said people suffering extreme cases of what is known in medical circles as "personality deficit" often fade to a uniform grey, but said this was the first case of an actual disappearance.
"Interaction generates sub-harmonic vibrations between human beings. Individuals who are in personality deficit, such as Mr Ruddock, emit little or no vibration at all and as such are not recognised by other people. PD suffers are often mistaken for faded floral wallpaper, small brown shrubs or telegraph poles."
Removing his glasses and sucking thoughtfully on one of the arms, he continued, "My colleagues and I have given some serious thought to Ruddock's case since his remarkable disappearance. We propose a theory that his condition was so extreme that his sub-harmonic vibrations actually inverted, causing him to implode. That's the only possible conclusion."
Can one nominate themselves for cock of the week?
It takes a self-confessed cock to point a finger at another cock. From one cock to another, by all means, nominate away...
When the dust settles I will.
About our impending gig at Rod Laver. I have placed a stipulation upon Lars Urlich. No damn Lollypops Mang! Bono asked if Slaak and I could he could use our signatures for the new iPod version 6. I said that only if any child in the third world gets one for free just like the new and third world affordable 'RED' mobile phone.
I heard that Sir Paul Mccartney will be in the audience for the show ... nice one.
I always know The SGS's had a social conscience bigger than a whale. If you can outdo Bohnoh, you're really cranking out the sanctimoniousness.
I have always had a bit of a fascination with older radios.
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