Geek Gods

Don't watch me, I suck. No, wait...If this site is classed as satire, then I am really enjoying watching the ads served up by Google. If not, then I don't get the ads. Either way, I am little shocked. Google, the "I know what you meant" Google, doesn't seem to understand the purpose of satire. Here's a hint. "Satire is a literary technique of writing or art which principally ridicules its subject".

So, assuming this site is satire, then it sometimes confuses the adsense algorithm. And assuming that the ads themselves are not satire, then all of this, in some strange way, is enhancing my reading experience. I think?

Anyways, your mileage may vary though, so I can't guarantee any fun here. Reading this triggers Google to suggest that you might be interested in this. Writing this story actually prompted Google to recommend this. Yawn.

Every now and then it gets it a little more less wrong. Good English helps the ad comedy too it seems. In case you missed it, that was sarcasm. While reading this, Google thought I'd be interested in this. Ummm, bzzz, not buying there in the short term. This returned plush units here and this. So, a piss take on fat dudes with food = buy new unit and Rap music? Interesting...

Search for geek and get this image. Cool huh?What is the first thing you would do if you were in charge of the I.T. infrastructure for a company? Block employee access to instant messenger? Obviously. Well, we all know that good communication is a problem for any company.

Has this happened to you? The I.T department "blocking" you from something really useful? I'm sure it makes sense to someone, but I'm starting to realise that I don't like being told what I can't do. So, even though I have no friends to instantly chat to, I found a nice solution to this problem and thought I'd share it with y'all while I drank some wine.

By Claudia Caravan

Kip Dynamite

The Man

Possibly one of the greatest paragons of nerd-makes-good in modern times, Kipland Ronald Dynamite is a poet, Tupperware salesman and husband to LaFawnduh. In training to be a cage fighter, Kip lived with his Grandma until he was, like, 32 years old. There he whiled away the hours chatting to babes online and eating all the freaking chips.

The Warrior

Kip isn't afraid to stand up to his foes and often takes on his much taller brother Napoleon, despite almost getting his mole torn off. He even risked bruising his neck meat. Kip is so brave he offered himself to Rex as a volunteer in a demonstration of how to "break the wrist, walk away". Now that's a tough guy, especially since no one wants a round-house kick to the face while Rex is wearing those bad boys. Forget about it.

Samuel demonstrates a simple sleeper hold for rabid dogs.

Good morning Stuart,

Well you’ll be pleased to know that most of my aches and pains are gone, and I did eventually get to sleep last night, although it wasn’t for very long. The sedative drugs doctor John has me on work very well, but the side affects are interesting, I want to sleep, but the medicine wants to keep me awake for at least three to four hours after I take it.

It’s also making a lot of things taste quite terrible and it's making me very thirsty, but at least I seem to be able to concentrate for a while now, even if it does take me three times as long to write an email than it normally would.

Who does SPAM appeal to?A wise author once told me that if you need to swear, you are not articulate enough to write. I tried to keep that in mind when writing about the changes we had to make at BNU to address the recent comment SPAM, so wish me luck.

In case you don't know, BNU is now "popular" enough to SPAM the comments section. This is probably happening because we want to let people post anonymously without logging in, and this by default includes SPAMBOTS. It's annoying, because we then have to manually go through the comments and delete the SPAM. The hardest part about all of this is distinguishing meaningless, cunt fuck cock sex SPAM comments from a real BNU comment!

Seriously though, doesn't SPAM feel like the 21st century boogey man? Who are these cunts (is there a better way to describe them?) writing SPAM software? I have enough trouble keeping the site alive, and these fuckers write bug-free, reliable software to let us know about viagra.

Sure, my sex life is not always killer. I sometimes have great sex, sometimes it's ok, and sometimes it's shitty. Thankfully though, I can get an erection from breathing air. However, if I had erection problems, would my research for a cure involve clicking on a random link on a website and ordering the product? Surely we are not clicking the links, so why do SPAMmers keep SPAMming? If anyone knows, please let me know.

Tape: I'll make you a tape.

I miss making cassette tape compilations from radio. I loved listening to my radio loaded with a new TDK SA-90 in the cassette deck and fingers spread waiting to press the play and record button at the same time. I thought about buying some tapes and doing it all again. But then decided not to.

Enter StreamRipper. Fuck! This is so awesome, I thought I should it would make a nice item for Geek Gods.

Jesus, 2006

Richard Matthew Stallman (frequently abbreviated to RMS) (born March 16, 1953) is the founder of the free software movement, the GNU Project, the Free Software Foundation, and the League for Programming Freedom. An acclaimed hacker, his major accomplishments include Emacs (and the later GNU Emacs), the GNU C Compiler, and the GNU Debugger. He is also the author of the GNU General Public License (GNU GPL or GPL), the most widely-used free software license, which pioneered the concept of the copyleft. Since the mid-1990s, Stallman has spent most of his time as a political campaigner, advocating free software and campaigning against software idea patents and expansions of copyright law. The time that he still devotes to programming is spent on GNU Emacs. He supports himself by being paid for around half of the speeches he gives.

So? Well, all the software that is used to run BrownNoiseUnit comes as result of guys like Richard Stallman.

I like Richard for another reason. He sees the free (as in freedom) use of computers as a basic human right. Yep, he says that it violates human rights to have proprietary software used in education and governments, because these institutions end up relying on the corporations supplying the software to them.