Ask Dr. Cam

Bowel Mouth: suffering swollen sacks so you don't have to.

Peeping Tom's drummer and man-about-town Dr Cam answers your music questions, solves your rock conundrums and guides you safely back into the realm of good taste.

Dear Doctor Cam,

Being a drummer in my band Bowel Mouth, I find that I suffer from a number of side-effects. One is that, after playing a gig, I find my sexual drive unquenchable. Even after a good two-hour session, I am still unsatisfied.

Another side-effect is drummer's sack. A condition where the heat between the legs while playing gets to such a level, that the sack swells and stretches in an attempt to escape the crotch heat-wave and I'm left with a sore set of balls.

Another is an inflation of the ego when playing at all-ages gigs. When doe-eyed youngsters admit to their undying love for you and tell you that you're the best drummer in the world. The inflation of the ego seems to be in direct proportion to the swelling of the balls.

The swelling of the balls seems to be in direct proportion to my sexual drive. Any suggestions doc?

Jimmy Icon,
via forum

Being a drummer myself, I can sympathize with your inflated bag condition. However, I believe my ballooning balls have more to do with aging rather than vigorous drumming. My partner affectionately refers to them as my Nick Nolte's (remember his well publicised teste tuck from a few years back?).

How to solve your dillema? Simple. Wack off. Some gentle masturbation after and just before your show, should stem that raging libido.

Band with the very latest in hi-fi 'tape recording' technology.

Peeping Tom's drummer and man-about-town Dr Cam answers your music questions, solves your rock conundrums and guides you safely back into the realm of good taste.

Doc,

The tractor beam sucked me into Greville Records again yesterday, and this time I was thrown into a state o' confusion with what Creedence Clearwater Revival album to buy.

While there's no shortage of Time Life-style compilations you can buy for $4.95 plus postage and handling, I wanted to get a proper album.

So I bought Willy & The Poor Boys mostly because it included the track Fortunate Son. I saw the clip to that on Rage the other night, and it blew me away. The last track Effigy is also incredible.

I'm keen to buy in further. Although these guys seem like squares and pretty mainstream, they are consumate songwriters.

Where to from here?

Aw, I dunno how square those boys are? Creedence are about as cool as they come. How many bands sound like them? No one else has captured that steamy southern swamp stomp quite like CCR (I guess there's Tony Joe White. Anyone else care to add?)

Yet another blurry image of Bigfoot. Still, at least he writes us.

Peeping Tom's drummer and man-about-town Dr Cam answers your music questions, solves your rock conundrums and guides you safely back into the realm of good taste. Got a question? Email it here.

Doc,

PJ's last album seems to have been damned with faint praise in some quarters. The consensus seems to be that it's not as good as her early stuff. I've gotta say that the last two albums (Uh-huh Her and Stories from the City) are my faves.

Is the relatively lukewarm response to her latest justified or is it just a case of 'her old stuff is better than her new stuff'?

Audry Prinkett 

via forum 

Geez Audrey, I'm probably not the bloke to provide consultation on PJ. You'll need to see a specialist for that one. Sorry to pass the buck, but I'd only be talking out my arse if I had to go and deconstruct any of her records.

As far as singing dames go, I can't go past my bluesy, boozey mamas like Janis Joplin and Genya Ravan (check out her band Ten Wheel Drive), torch song heartbreak queen Martha Davies (from the Motels) and proto-metal queen Ann Wilson (from Heart).