Grand Champion's producers had lots and lots of dirt on Roberts and Willis.'"Grand Champion" is an entertaining adventure that promises to delight audiences of all ages. From its touching story to its charming characters to its upbeat Texas music, there's something for everyone. The adventure begins with the love between a twelve-year old boy, Buddy, and his steer, Hokey Pokey and Buddy's determination to raise Hokey into a "Grand Champion".'

-- rottentomatoes.com

How could this happen? What was I thinking, renting a G-rated movie in the first place? What rush of uncharacteristic tolerance caused me to overlook my hatred of Joey Lauren Adams and the whole American bowl-cut genre and hand over the cash with a benign smile?

Ginger Reyes just testing out her new bass guitar at my place. Oh yeah, she is also in the Smashing Pumpkins Smashing Pumpkins good. Hangover bad. Billy Corgan tall. People asking me important questions right now at work bad. "Bring The Light" good. Festival Hall bad. Got there late. Only missed two songs. Got very drunk. Met hot girls. Danced to Zeitgeist. Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage. Keep hitting back space==///// almost. Pumpkins played wierd song that went for ten minutes. Surprised girls and friends when I told them the song was "Set The Controls For The Heart of the Sun" by Pink Floyd. Say what? Yes motherfucker, it was off their second album Saucer Full Of Secrets. No "Cherub Rock" but Billy wore a silver skirt -- weirdo.

They're French but I won't hold that against themThe last band I saw were Ween and the gig put me off live shows for a few weeks. Basically, I wanted to elbow most of the crowd in the face Fight Club style. They had to be the biggest bunch of angry, stoned, drunk, rude, stinking, drooling yobbos that I had the misfortune of ever being in the room with. Get over yourselves. Adding to that, I thought Ween performed poorly and the mixing was sub-par. Thank Jesus the good Lord Christ that I had earplugs to filter out most of the shitty top end ear-ruining noise.

I missed out on seeing Queens of the Stone Age on Tuesday night due to unforeseen circumstances. So I guess you could say I was happy when I got to the Palais to see Air last night and found that the crowd were not rude, smelly or angry. The girls were hot and the beer was at a reasonable price. It was civilised. It was also Air’s first time in Australia.

Don't make him angryThere are big people and then there's Lou Ferrigno. Lou was in Melbourne appearing at the Supanova pop culture expo.

I asked Lou if he really turned green when he gets angry. He smiled and said that he never gets angry. However, he used to get frustrated growing up because he was trying to deal with losing most of his hearing from the age of 3 due to an ear infection. He couldn't understand what people were saying on TV so he turned to comics books and dreamed of one day being the Hulk. He became extremely introverted and was severely bullied at school because he had to wear a large hearing aid. Also, Lou couldn't make the football team because he was too skinny.

You get the feeling when talking to Lou that underneath this massive frame is a sensitive and vulnerable guy with a burning passion to overcome any obstacle that is thrown his way.

Click to enlarge Bolt-like groupthinking Going to the gym to get pumped? Backing out of your drive but get distracted by a car parked outside your house with the back windscreen covered in huge orange letters?

You thought you'd seen them all before: NRNR (no root no ride -- acronym genius), HOLDEN (just in case you didn't know or give a shit), PIONEER (free advertising for Cash Converters), I BLOG & I VOTE (for people who want to out themselves), I WOULD RATHER PUSH MY FORD THAN DRIVE A HOLDEN (What's the difference you bogan?), PLAYBOY BUNNY (for fat, ugly, desperate people -- you're only kidding yourself), IF THIS VAN'S A ROCKIN' THEN DON'T COME A KNOCKIN' (someone thinking they are in Puberty Blues), MOBILE VIRGIN CONVERSION UNIT (someone looking to lose their virginity and probably has a CB radio), MAGIC HAPPENS (no it doesn't so fuck off new age hippy), FREE TIBET (then go to the casino) and so on. The list isn't exhaustive.

Hester's second anus had a suction effect on her dentures.

A German retiree is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead, the Daily Telegraph is reporting.

The woman woke up to find she had been mixed up with another patient suffering from incontinence who was to have surgery on her sphincter.

The clinic in Hochfranken, Bavaria, has since suspended the surgical team.

Now the woman is planning to sue the hospital. She still needs the leg operation and is searching for another hospital to do it.

Eurovision time is almost upon us again, I must admit I do keep my eye on this thing each year for some unknown reason. This year it is being held in Belgrade on the 24th of May and here are a few gems that have qualified so far:

Now this is Spain's entry, the song is "Chiki Chiki" by Rodolfo Chikilicuatre. Now at first he might look like a complete tool but I challenge you to not have this song stuck in your head after a couple of listens - El Robocop!

Hangin' with GenerFriday night was easily the best gig I've ever seen. After about 10 years of waiting, getting 2 nights of Ween back to back was worth every bit of waiting. I might leave Thursday night for someone like Vincent to cover if he feels like doing so. It was a great gig, but overall a little flat or to me at least it just didn't seem like something clicked. Friday night all the planets aligned and the boognish smiled upon the Forum.

Debate over defining the past perfect tense turned nasty after the second bottle of whiskey.About three nights a week my buddy Yutaka and and I knock off from work about the same time. Normally around 9.30pm we cut through a nest of bicycles and swarm of people to a supermarket, buy some booze and then cut back to a tiny park in the middle of the city.

There's our work building at our back and a 25 storey mother to our front, the subway station is right next to this paved square with a giant beech tree. We try to find a bit of real estate in the square that is not so reeking of salaryman piss, and sit and drink and talk for an hour or so before getting on the train home. It's mental health time.

The other night we invited a student of ours to come, and he brought his guns wrapped in towels. Hiroyuki is a very shy but very cool guy. His hobbies include drifting, in the Tokyo Drift sense ie fast cars and motorbikes, and, aparently, air guns.